SHIPP’S STARS. The Year of Broke. (NYFW FW18 2018) – New York Fashion Week
A pre-owned hat that spoke to me.
I have many dreams for myself as I flow along this current we call “life” towards our “death.” In actuality the two are reversed. Most of my dreams are unrealized. To say I know where I’m going is a complete overstatement.
It’s been a few years now and I still cant answer, “What is my purpose for humanity?” and “What contribution would I like to make to the world at large?” My why seemed to never exist. Even on the important matters of life such as wealth. Wealth is something we desire, which I never had a strong why till now. Sometimes we must see the stark contrast of lack of abundance to understand our motivation and reason for desiring wealth. I would like to live a financially free life where I can pay others to help me reach my life mission. I wish to pay them and be ethical about it. I wish to travel and do the things I love without the worry of how I am to pay for such a thing. I can’t count how many times I’ve been stepped on and how many times public figures rise to the top in history by the bloodshed of others. I wish to win success ethically. The crux of the issue was that my visions were never strong enough to achieve any strong sense of fulfillment. If I got close, the high seas would continuously knock me sideways when financial and unexpected storms kept arising having me to lay by shore or forcing myself to weather the storm and feel somewhat defeated anyway. Which led me to my next question, “Is this (photography, art, fashion) really what I’m meant to be doing?” Bits and pieces of a vision showed up for me, sure, but I still am floating down the river of “life” with no sense of exact purpose and direction.
My ego continues to shatter as I break free from societies limitations and programming. What started as a road to success in fashion photography was not just about fashion. There are days where I don’t want to just be a fashion icon. I don’t want the publicity or the gratitude social media inflicts on me. I don’t want to post my day or my life all the time because I dont want or need the attention. Being quite honest, it makes me uncomfortable. My life is a whole contradiction. On one hand I don’t wear makeup and live a life of hermitude devoted to my inner world and spirituality. On the other hand, I express my inner world externally with my fashion, modeling, and with the art I create. I share my life experiences with utter transparency because that’s the character I wish to have. I desire to share my work and mission with the world. And I like to give thanks and sometimes receive positive feedback because It shows I am touching a soul on some sort of level. I don’t want to photograph things that have an egotistical intention that scream, “BUY THIS!” That is not the world I wish to contribute towards. Like I said, my life is a paradox.
My fashion dresses my soul and is an expression of my soul itself. Is it possible to have a good fashion sense yet be ego-less? Is it possible to do sales without influencing others for your own egotistical benefit?? I think the answer is yes, but the next question is, “HOW?” I plan to sell my work for the greater good but not push it on people. I wish to live a life not needing to depend on others for money, but rather receive money that is truly earned by those who believe in me and the mission I follow. I would like to create a spiritual movement that awakens the soul within. Our society has deadened our soul to oblivion. I want to ignite the focus inward. I’m not the only one to be on this journey, but I feel my mission is to help awaken others in some sort of capacity – not force them but help them awaken themselves in their own time to the greater picture of life. And for me to be given the gift of fashion, art, spirituality, and philosophy.. a kind of paradoxical mission is stirred within me that I somehow am asked to follow. I don’t question it too much, but I ponder it from time to time, “perhaps the only way to disrupt an industry is to be a part of it.” Just as souls have lost their way here through the many systems we have in place (schools, religions, culture, etc), some intuitively guided souls make it through to lead the way and remind the majority of their spiritual nature. They have taken it upon themselves to stand in a crowd of asleep individuals for the universal good of the majority.
I am not the clothes I wear, or the objects I own. I considered styling outfits for others or for editorials, but I feel I would be limited and only contribute to someone’s ego and feed their hidden dark side. You know, the dark side of people who fall in the trap of wanting to “look the best” “be the most envied” in the room. Sometimes my ego becomes inflated and these dark thoughts appear; once again reminding me how humanity often struggles with balancing the ego in themselves. Having an ego is important but knowing how to balance the dark with the light is much more so. We must have a little ego to fulfill our life’s mission but be ruled by the heart and soul.
I’ve taken up the challenge to invest all my money and limit my expenses for buying new clothes and such. I have committed myself to the #TheBrokeLifestyle. For my own styling ventures, i have turned primarily towards thrifted clothes during the big 50% off sales and such. It is a very humbling experience and one that truly deflates the ego. It has become an expression of what can be on a small budget. Anyone is able to thrift and has just as much chance as everyone else to find wonderful clothes. The clothes that are meant for me won’t pass me by. I’ll always have the money and means to fund this kind of lifestyle. It also does a world of good for the environment and for the soul. Considering this world is full of corruption and the way clothing makers are under-payed and mistreated, to artists whose designs are stolen, thrifting truly limits funding into that sort of evil. This is me “Paying Myself First.” And me “Paying the World” for an agenda of good rather than evil. So yes, the idea of thrifting stirs my enthusiasm in so so many ways. It probably has it’s own faults but I believe it is better than the alternative. I’ll still buy new things that are unique and which bring me happiness as always, but I feel glad to create a more sustainable, ethical future and save lots of money in the process by thrifting.
I may not have a crystal clear understanding of my purpose, but what I do know is that my purpose is bigger than I have could ever imagine. I have a basic foundation of WHO I AM (click to read!) and what I stand for; that’s all I need to know right now.
Smooth sailing AwakenedTravelers!
KenseyJean is a Photographer, Influencer and Youtuber that covers fashion, travel, culture, art, self development, and spirituality. She is the creater of AWAKENEDTRAVELERS, a movement currently being made. She seeks to awaken and empower the souls within each of us as we travel this physical reality together.
Kensey is based on Long Island NY and frequents NYC. She is on a mission to create a global community centered around all things beautiful, genuine, and empowering.